LYRICS TO MY LAST STORM:
Here are the lyrics to the songs from my new album. Most of these songs haven’t yet been released. All songs written by and copyright Douglas Greer, except “Million Beers,” written by and copyright Douglas Greer & Joe Greer, and “Like a Glove,” written by and copyright Douglas Greer & Robert Frith.
MY BIBLE AND MY GUN
I have faith; Lord, have mercy, I’ve been saved. I’ve seen darker days, but now I’m lifted in praise.
But the next time I see you, gonna have a pistol pointed at your face, and you at me from forty paces. Living in our dueling society comes with its graces…
So I’m gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna bring my Bible and my gun. One of us will need it when we’re done; gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Said I’m gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna have to be responsible, son; gonna bring my Bible and my gun.
When I’m done with you, I’ll take this Bible to your wife and children that you’ll leave behind. I’ll say I prayed over your soul and held your hand and felt you feel your mortal coil unwind.
And if this all should turn the other way, I hope you’ll do the same in kind…
So I’m gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna bring my Bible and my gun. One of us will need it when we’re done; gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Said I’m gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna have to be responsible, son; gonna bring my Bible and my gun.
I have faith; Lord, have mercy, I’ve been saved. I’ve seen darker days, but now I’m lifted in praise.
So I’m gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna bring my Bible and my gun. One of us will need it when we’re done; gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Said I’m gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna bring my Bible and my gun. Gonna have to be responsible, son; gonna bring my Bible and my gun.
MY LAST STORM
The Devil’s in the water, the poor man destroyer. He’s over the storm wall. He’s having his way. Fifty years of living wiped out in an hour. A horrible power that takes it away.
The contraflow leads you all the way to nowhere. I’ll pick up some work there; maybe we’ll stay. Or hit the Hill Country; it’s dryer and cleaner. The summers are meaner, but won’t wash away.
This is my last storm, another one would kill me. Retreating and rebuilding’s a younger man’s game. I’ll put an RV out on the highway. We’ll make it out alive down the line, ‘cause this is my last storm. This is my last time. This is my last storm.
The old school believers, the always stay behinders, didn’t make out like they did in the day. Spread out and scattered, scarred up and shattered. People like that shouldn’t live out this way.
The Gulf water’s in me, but it’s trying to kill me. It rips out my heart about every fifth fall. But I’m talking while the tragedy’s tragically raw. Maybe it isn’t that bad after all.
This is my last storm, another one would kill me. Retreating and rebuilding’s a younger man’s game. I’ll put an RV out on the highway. We’ll make it out alive down the line, ‘cause this is my last storm. This is my last time. This is my last storm.
RIDE THAT DRAGON
I’m gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off. Gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off. Dragon riding can be fun, but it ain’t for everyone. Gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off.
I’m jacked up, got my rot gut in my hand. Well, I’m jacked up, got my rot gut in my hand. That powder in that ball, dark liquor ‘till last call. I’m jacked up, got my rot gut in my hand.
I’m gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off. Gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off. Dragon riding can be fun, but it ain’t for everyone. Gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off.
That man is gonna make me go to jail. That man right there’s gonna make me go to jail. I’m gonna shoot him in his head, for some foul-mouthed words he said. That man is gonna make me go to jail.
That devil woman’s set her sights on me. That devil woman’s set her sights on me. She’s gunning for my soul, with lipstick and rock and roll. That devil woman’s set her sights on me.
I’m gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off. Gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off. Dragon riding can be fun, but it ain’t for everyone. Gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off.
Dragon riding can be fun, but it ain’t for everyone. Gonna ride that dragon ‘til it throws me off.
MILLION BEERS
Well, my life ain’t been filled with fortune and fame, but I’ve enjoyed the good times, the times they came. One day, it got me to thinking of what it was that I really did good; maybe make me famous, get me to Hollywood. I finally figured out what I’m really good at is drinking.
Lord, I’m gonna drink me a million beers, and hope that the crowd cheers. I’ve been training for the big time all of my life. Yeah, I’ve been drinking all night, nearly every day; to get to a million, I still got a ways. But I’m dedicated; that’s why I’m getting drunk tonight.
Well, seven days a week fifty-two weeks a year, at least every day, a twelve-pack of beer. I’m trying to figure out how far I’ve got to a million. But I ain’t good at math, so brother help me out. If you come up with a number, give me a shout. And somebody stop me before I hit a billion
Lord, I’m gonna drink me a million beers, and hope that the crowd cheers. I’ve been training for the big time all of my life. Yeah, I’ve been drinking all night, nearly every day; to get to a million, I still got a ways. But I’m dedicated; that’s why I’m getting drunk tonight.
Well, reality shows are the big things today. TV stars earn big pay. Maybe I’ll get a show, with just me sitting there drinking. Whether I hit a million or miss it by one, you know damn well I’m gonna have fun. But I’m gonna make it; I know that’s what you’re thinking,
Lord, I’m gonna drink me a million beers, and hope that the crowd cheers. I’ve been training for the big time all of my life. Yeah, I’ve been drinking all night, nearly every day; to get to a million, I still got a ways. But I’m dedicated; that’s why I’m getting drunk tonight.
Yeah, I’m dedicated; that’s why I’m getting drunk tonight.
LIKE A GLOVE
Sometimes it seems so hard to tell where he stops and she begins. They work the floor like they are one in a dance just they are in. He lifts his hand as if to ask her permission for the dance. We almost see the woman blush, because her love is so intense.
And even though they’ve been around each other for so very long, they seem as though they’re still in school. A lovely thing that’s going on. And although time has left its mark on the woman’s painted face. The only thing that won’t wear down is her quiet, subtle grace.
Because their love seems to fit just like a glove. Bodies move at the same time, hearts that beat on the same line. And I hope someday I will find a love to slip her fingers in my glove. I’d say goodbye to daydreams if my love fit like a glove.
And I wonder how I could ever see part of what they found in their lovers’ reverie. And I know right now, someone’s standing there waiting for my bow with a lover’s dance to share. I know she’s standing there.
They move in motions never seen, in rhythms that they only know. As the night begins to end they see it’s almost time to go. As the dance draws to a close, and lovers leave the night alone, they ask the band to stay around, because they feel like one more song.
Because their love seems to fit just like a glove. Bodies move at the same time, hearts that beat on the same line. And I hope someday I will find a love to slip her fingers in my glove. I’d say goodbye to daydreams if my love fit like a glove.
AS REAL AS ME
You don’t have to be Mississippi. You don’t have to be Tennessee. You just keep on being New York City. It doesn’t really matter much to me.
So don’t feel like you have to drink my Lone Star. Don’t feel like you need to smoke my weed. You don’t have to pee out in the back yard. Honey, it’s your own life to lead.
You could take me to the country; I could take you to the sea. As long as it feels good and makes us free. I don’t care about your Jaguar or your shiny diamond rings. They ain’t nothing but things. And you don’t have to be as real as me. You don’t have to be as real as me.
You don’t have to look like my reflection. You don’t have to sound a lot like me. You can always buy me with seduction. Everything about me goes for free.
So don’t think that you have to eat my boudain. Don’t feel like you need to like Willie. You don’t have to give up your Sinatra. Your caviar’s okay, I don’t eat that anyway, so there’s more for you, more potted meat for me…
You could take me to the country; I could take you to the sea. As long as it feels good and makes us free. I don’t care about your Jaguar or your shiny diamond rings. They ain’t nothing but things. And you don’t have to be as real as me. You don’t have to be as real as me.
I don’t care about your Jaguar or your shiny diamond rings. They ain’t nothing but things that come and go, girl. I don’t care where you come from; I don’t care what you do. I just really like you. And you don’t have to be as real as me. You don’t have to be as real as me.
GROWN MAN
I’m a grown ass man. You better step right back and think that through again. You need to understand, I’m a grown ass man.
Little girl in my bar, you don’t quite seem to get how young you are. Flirting with drunk old men like me at this bar. Little girl, I’m a grown ass man.
Little boy, all jealous and green. You step to me like you’re gonna save your little queen. I got steak at the house; we’re talking ‘bout your Krispy Kreme. Son, I’m a grown ass man.
So you’re making two fools of yourselves; that’s what your best old new friend’s for. I got bar burgers bagged up for you, a questionable Uber at the door…
So you’re making two fools of yourselves; that’s what your best old new friend’s for. I got bar burgers bagged up for you, a questionable Uber at the door, ‘cause I’m a grown ass man, you better step right back and think that through again. You need to understand, I’m a grown ass man.
SUPERPOWER
Your heart superpower. Your humor superpower. Your talent superpower. Your beauty superpower. Your smile superpower. Your soul superpower. Your body superpower. Your love superpower. You take all your superpowers, baby, and turn ‘em into love from me. You use all your superpowers baby, and turn ‘em into love from me.
The first time I met you, I thought you’d be my wife. But then I confused you, and let you leave my life. So now for all this time, I’ve been left wondering why I let you walk away and take another guy. I missed your superpowers baby, and that was my penalty. I missed all your superpowers, baby. Girl, I missed you and me.
But then I saw you lately. A shock went through me. You know you drove me crazy when heard you were free. Then I knew I needed what I let get away: your superpowers you’ve had since way back in the day. I missed your superpowers baby, and that was my penalty. I missed all your superpowers, baby. Girl, I missed you and me.
And now that we’re together, it’s a forever thing. I need your superpowers and what your love brings. I try to tell you, daily, I love and cherish you. What you bring to the table, the lovely things you do. You take all your superpowers, baby, and turn ‘em into love from me. You use all your superpowers baby, and turn ‘em into love from me.
Your heart superpower. Your humor superpower. Your talent superpower. Your beauty superpower. Your smile superpower. Your soul superpower. Your body superpower. Your love superpower. You take all your superpowers, baby, and turn ‘em into love from me. You use all your superpowers baby, and turn ‘em into love from me.
AT THE MERCY OF THE CRIMINAL
We’ll go away, far away and you will be my queen, because they say, life is what you make it, so live it, my dear. But at the mercy of the criminal, you won’t find your fortune told. You won’t see your promises grow old.
At the mercy of the criminal. At the mercy of the criminal. How can I convince myself you won’t fly from me at the mercy of the criminal?
People say, “Leave your woman, head for Tennessee, or one day, she’ll keep you far from heaven, so leave her, my friend. At the mercy of the criminal she’ll hide the hate that never leaves.” But I believe in what you used to be; I still believe in what you used to be.
At the mercy of the criminal. At the mercy of the criminal. How can I convince myself you won’t fly from me at the mercy of the criminal?
Far away, go far away and leave this for another day, when you can see. Far away, far away to help you see a different way, so you can love you. And then you can love me.
And don’t let your grace … leave… you.
At the mercy of the criminal. At the mercy of the criminal. How can I convince myself you won’t fly from me at the mercy of the criminal?
HAPPY YOU’RE GONE, GIRL
I’m happy you’re gone, girl. I’m happy you’re gone, girl. You hurt me, you tore me. You used me, ignored me. So I’m happy you’re gone, girl. I’m happy you’re gone, girl.
Whenever I let you come inside me, girl, you turned and walked away, babe. But now I see you and I don’t cry no more. Now I know that I’m happy you’re gone, girl. I’m happy you’re gone, girl.
Now here when I see you, I rue when I knew you. You changed, baby, you lied to me. You told me you’d die for me.
Whenever I let you come inside me, girl, you turned and walked away, babe. But now I see you and I don’t cry no more. Now I know that I’m happy you’re gone, girl. I’m happy you’re gone, girl.
I’m happy you’re gone, girl. I’m happy you’re gone, girl…
CANADA WON’T LET ME IN
Got a little stain on my record from a law and order county. Paid my fine, did my probation. I stepped up off my paper.
But later I found something out I laughed and cried about. Something was taken of mine, at least for five years time…
Canada won’t let me in. Canada won’t let me in. A small-time vehicular crime ain’t a sin, but Canada won’t let me in.
It was a small town transgression. I always knew where I was at. I made up with the state of Texas, and I swore that I’d never again do that…
But later I found something out I laughed and cried about. Something was taken of mine, at least for five years time…
Canada won’t let me in. Canada won’t let me in. A small-time vehicular crime ain’t a sin, but Canada won’t let me in.
Canada won’t let me in. Canada won’t let me in. A small-time vehicular crime ain’t a sin, but Canada won’t let me in.
We call it a crime, they call it a sin, and Canada won’t let me in.